Brain: Calculating possible status paragraphs that will bring minimal embarrassment
Anxiety: WTF! Abort! Abort!
Stress: Nope, nope! No can do missy!
That lil voice: Just be you, you can do it!
Depression: New phone – who dis?
Thank you Sapphire Wilson for the gracious nomination. You are extremely kindhearted and I enjoy reading your blog posts.
The rules are:
- Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you.
- Provide a link to their blog.
- Include the award graphic.
- Answer the questions provided.
- Nominate 10 recently followed bloggers and share your post with them so they can see it.
My questions given to me by Sapphire Wilson
- Why did you choose to start a blog?
I have started many blogs, I once even tried to become a youtuber reviewing films but none of them stuck…mostly because I didn’t believe in the content enough to maintain any platform for a period longer than a week. But now… now I am in a mindset of healing, and I am ready to share my journey. And so this blog, My Loudest Ponderings, was borne into existence. A verbal vomit of all my thoughts and experiences with the hope that my words can bring healing and understanding to those who take the time to read them.
- Describe yourself in 5 words
Sad, Worthless, Hopeful, Optimistic, Loving
- What is your biggest fear? Why?
Losing my loved ones and family. Because without them my world will truly be dark, bleak and I will be alone.
- Do you like the job you are in? Or If you are still a student how do you plan to achieve your goal?
So here is a little story for you. I have been in limbo for the past two months because here in New Zealand our education year begins in February and finishes in November. I have studied at university once before. Film school dropout. After a year and a half I hit the hardest points in my life, the peak of my depression, I got a disease called Endometriosis and I was coming to the simple understanding that the film industry in NZ is do lots of jobs for free, you will be fed, but you will need a job on the side that you may not be able to maintain due to on-set time anyway…So I floated for two year, lost. In June 2017 I decided that I want to study English and Te Reo Maori (our native tongue in New Zealand) and become a secondary school teacher. I worked at a school in a very small country town for 6 months as work experience to give me an idea of what teaching will be like once I am fully qualified and in February I am starting a Bachelor of Arts Degree majoring in English and Te Reo.
- Would you like to change the past or see the future and why?
If I change the past I wouldn’t be the person I am now, and though I have waded through turbulent waters, even drowned at times, I am now, slowly, becoming the person I want to be. The future me will be dead. We all die, that is a fact.
- What do you prefer, reading books or watching movies? Why?
Reading books, because as I read the images come to the fore-front of my brain like a film, and long after reading the “film” my imagination created continues to play.
- What thing is most precious to you?
- Are you a people person?
I am a person person. Singular. But many at a time makes me want to melt into the wall, though my mask will present a comfortable strong woman.
- Where would you go for your next vacation?
Japan, to see the cherry blossoms bloom, climb the mountains, experience a completely different culture.
- Give a quote that sums up your life.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I being poor have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams beneath your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
– Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven. W.B. Yeats (1865-1939)
My questions for my nominees are:
- What is your earliest memory?
- What was your favourite childhood toy? Or did you have an imaginary friend?
- What gets you out of bed everyday?
- Who is your greatest role model/hero/ person you look up to? Why?
- Name 1 goal you didn’t add to your resolutions list that you are working towards
- In your spare time what can you be found doing?
- What do you eat for breakfast?
- Are you a warm fuzzy or a cold prickly?
- Could you please insert a self-portrait (stickmen are allowed)
- Where is ‘home’ for you?
My nominees are:
- Her Writing Haven
- David Snape
- The Self-Help Whisperer
- A Fractured Faith
- Undeniably Sara
I haven’t been here for long, you may be surprised I nominated you. I was surely surprised to be participating in such a thing as this, but I am truly interested in your answers, so let me know when you are done.